I was ten years old when my grandmother died. Her death wasn't a surprise to us, she hadbeen sick for awhile. I was young and tried my hardest not to let her death hurt me.
The only time I really cried was when my parents told me. And I cried for a long time.
I was angery. I was hurt. I was mad at my grandmother. I was so mad because she
left us but mostly because she prepared my sister for it and not me.
After my grandmother died my sister told us that the night before she had a dream. In her
dream she talked to our grandmother. Our grandmother told her that everything was going to be okay.
And I was so hurt and so angery that my grandmother went to her and not me.
As the years went on, I started grieving more for her. I started thinking alot of her and crying.
Even though I grieved for her I was still very angery. I took her death harder then my sister did.
I would even look up to the sky and start yelling and crying why not me? I needed her.
I didn't relize that I was still very much angery at her until March 14, 1998. I was a junior in high school
at the time.
On that night she came to me. She came to me. For the first and only time so far, she came to me.
She looked so healthy and so beautiful. She had this glow...this light outlining her. She looked
so happy. She talked to me. I couldn't hear what she was saying. I could only see her lips moving.
But when she was talking to me I felt so happy and relax. I knew she was preparing me for something.
When she was done talking to me, suddenly a coffin appeared before us. It was her coffin. Her body.
She then touched my hand and talked to me some more. The feeling that I felt will never be able to be
put in words. It was so wonderful.
When I woke up I didn't remember the dream. My parents were off shopping. I got a phone call that
my grandfather was in the hospital but my aunt told me that he was doing okay. I had this bad feeling
but tried to ignore it. When the second call came I knew that my grandfather wasn't okay. My parents
came home soon after the second call and I told them. My mother got on the phone and I knew that I lost my
grandfather. I still remember my father shaking his head saying no over and over again.
His death was a complete surprise to us.
My grandfather knew he was going to die. He made sure he told all of us that he loved us one last time.
When they found him on the floor in his bedroom he had his will, tux, etc. all layed out so we
wouldn't have to search for it.
I don't remember how long it took until I remembered the dream. It might of been a few days after he died
or a few weeks. All I remember is the way I felt when I remembered. I felt the same way when I was with my
grandmother.
Even though I couldn't hear my grandmother talking I felt her every word on the look on her face and in my heart.
She talked to me about her death and about my grandfathers. And she let me knew that she is always with me and
always will love me as well as my grandfather.
