I was so happy that I was finally getting out of here in September. I am dorming at a pretty well known university - something to be really excited about. I thought that's what I needed.
I was wrong. I do not know what is happening to me. For the few weeks, old demons that I thought were gone were coming back to visit. I have spent the whole day crying. I don't know what happened.
I do not want to go into details but let's just say I had one person in my past who completely used me, lied to me, destroyed me. I thought I was a really good person. I volunteer, I help EVERYONE whenever I can, and I put others before me. Everyone who knows me said that I did not deserve what happened to me. It took me a while but I accepted what happened.
I found out later he never changed. What was the point of going through what I did if he's exactly the same person? That's been killing me.
I feel like starting up my old habits again. I just don't know how to deal with my feelings anymore. It's driving me nuts. I went from being so happy to slowly being depressed again. As soon as I found out he never changed. I talked to my counselor in school and I actually think I might give him a call later on next week if I don't feel any better.
I feel like what I've been through was pointless. I thought this whole time I had severe clinical depression because of what I went through(I refuse to see a psychiatrist- I went only once this whole time). My parents think I'm bipolar. I just don't know anymore.
I'm sorry, I just needed to let this out. I really don't have anyone to talk to besides my school counselor (who retired). I can't talk to my friends, they think I am so happy, changed myself around, I'm so "strong," etc. Thanks for reading this.
You can join Unsolved Mysteries and post your own mysteries or
interesting stories for the world to read and respond to Click hereScroll all the way down to read replies.Show all stories by Author:  60089 ( Click here )
Spring is coming |
