This is a true story.When I was a little girl, I grew up very poor.My nickname was and at times still is rags!I recieved alot of beatings at the hands of my mother, and my oldest brother tried to save me from them.When I was sixteen years old, my brother who I grew to love more than anything in this world, died!He drowned.I was devestated! I wanted to die with him. I tried killing myself a number of times, and never succeeded.I thought that god didn't want me, just like my mother didn't want me. Then three years later my youngest brother died! he drowned also!Now I really didn't want to live.I started drinking, and got into cocaine.I ended up being a full blown alcoholic and drug addict.I continued on my path of distructivness for quite a few years.Not wanting to live any more, but not being able to do anything about it.My father tried everything he could to help me, but i didn't want any help. Then one day, I had had enough. I was finally tired of being tired! I asked for help.The deaths of my two brothers were both accidental. But I realize now, that things happen for a reason. My mother had died after I sobered up, which was about five years ago, and on here deathbed, she told my brother, who's my only brother now, that she didid not want me to go to the hospital to see her.She said that she had nothing to say to me. So see died a very sad person. How it changed my life:I put myself in a long term treatment home! I have been clean and sober for the past six years. Last year I married a great guy.Since i sobered up, I have not had a thought of suicide.
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