God spared me again   Author: 1270  Category:(Angels) Created:(10/21/1999 5:03:00 PM) This post has been Viewed (1328 times) A few weeks had past since my second knee injury. I had just had surgery a few days earlier. A week or so had past since we had a chimney fire. It was a Wednesday evening and my wife was insisting I go to church and be with the youth group which I normally did on Wednesday evenings. But this Wednesday I felt like going nowhere. My wife had gone on. I stayed at home on the couch not feeling the best and was thinking about how unuseful I was as a provider now not able to work. Thoughts ran through my head about what real Christians should be like, since the let-downs from my inlaw who was a Baptist Minister and a fellow Deacon at our church turned me down for a job as well. I just couldn't deal with Christians not being up to God's will and it really was tearing at me. Now I was injured once more and my income level had stopped. I felt physically useless. As time had passed that evening, the more in thoughts I was the more depressed I was. I prayed to God deeply and asked him what he wanted from me. No answer. I told him that if he wanted me to be a Christian and a follower that I couldn't be like he wanted me to and that I couldn't deal with the ones that were supposed to be so like him that really weren't. Again I prayed for him to answer me. Nothing. Than I gave the decision to him. I outwardly told him I was leaving this world and if he wanted me here to show his presence and stop me. I began taking the morphine based pain killers for my knee which still sat waiting for me when I needed them. Only two had been taken the day I was released from the hospital to help keep the pain down. More time had past and I aoutwardly said "if you don't stop me it's all over". Still nothing had happened. I continued taking them till half the bottle was gone (around 20 or so potent morphine based pain pills). Now one thing I need to tell you is I don't do well with pain killers, specially these kind they knock me out and make me real sleepy and uneasy. I wrote down all the things I said to God and all the things that really were getting to me. I laid on the couch and closed my eyes thinking about how my wife would find me when she got home, maybe rushing me off to the hospital trying to save me. After several more minutes had past I was feeling no reaction to these. This can't be right I thought. I should be feeling numb and sleepy by now. I kept my eyes closed waiting for the pills to kick in. Then I saw like an ora pass up from the darkness below. I opened my eyes thinking that maybe a car was approaching my house and the lights were coming through my eye lids. I looked around outside and there was nothing but darkness and still outside. I returned to the couch and closed them again. In a matter of a few seconds the orah came again. This time I kept them closed and waited to see what was going to happen next. In about another two seconds came another one right up from the bottom of the darkness and rose right up like the other two. Then in a split instance he was there. Jesus was right there. He just appeared from nowhere. I could feel him there like the feeling you get when someone really close is next to you. He never spoke out loud, but I knew what he was telling me. I felt so good like all the burden was lifted from me. He let me know that things were going to be alright. I remember asking if I would ever see him again and him telling me yes. Than he was gone just that fast. I laid there waiting and thinking about things. A few minutes had past and I heard my wife coming up the driveway from church. I never moved. I was anticipating more I guess. She came in and talked with me some. I pretended to be asleep still. She picked at me for a while and finally I sat up on the couch. We talked for a while and she went upstairs to bed. I stayed downstairs and spent the night there on the couch. Never slept a wink all night. I tried but I just couldn't. After a while, sometime early in the morning I was compelled to open my bible and read Psalms 23. Now I dont know the bible real well but I do remember Psalms 23 and I wanted to read it so bad then. I read on to Psalms 24, 25 and so on. I had never sat and read more than a passage if any in a bible until this night. Let me tell you this when I got to Psalm 30 I realised I was not dreaming. He was definately with me and had spared me once more. How it changed my life: Read Psalms 30. Then you will know. Please understand I am not saying it's ok to try to attempt suicide. It's not. This isn't a solution to our problems. Life is to valuable and all the things in life we are here for will be missed. You can join Unsolved Mysteries and post your own mysteries or interesting stories for the world to read and respond to Click here Scroll all the way down to read replies. Show all stories by   Author: 1270 ( Click here ) Spring is coming